That lip-stick !

It’s roughly eleven forty five (which means that 15 minutes from now) yet another morning belonging to my eclectic existence will depart hand in hand with a bit of my being to dissolve in the fog that last evening was. The evening in question commenced around nine-thirty subsequent to my arrival at a local bar followed by the familiar embrace of a pint of their local finest! A hard day was about to dissolve along with the rising di-oxide bubbles and (hopefully) good and meaningless banter.

And then the almighty laughed!

I believe my departure was stamped around mid-night and somewhere in the said time line, in order to defend (to be read as re-hash) a point I had made earlier, a statement involving some unfortunate combination of Lip-stick, lump of cow dung, her appearance, etc. escaped the black hole that my oral cavity is! In my defense, the offending statement was driven ONLY by genuine concern for the said colleague (which even she agrees to).
Unfortunately, she ended up rather offended and all that (maybe rightfully so) and thereafter there was nothing I could say that was presently acceptable to her or others. Anyway – to abbreviate the pain in this story, a well researched course on public speaking and basic sensitivity to ladies' sentiments etcetera followed. I sat there, gallantly, took it all in, even braved a coat of the said lip-stick and then legged it to the nearest exit without much regard to finesse after that.

On the way back home, having cranked up my gassed up vehicle and my aerated brain and engaging both in the required gears, I tried to see the reason behind my delightful evening. I agree that the apart from the gender there are quite a few difference between a man and a woman. I can, at a purely acoustic or basic plane agree that the statement might have packed more than the required wallop and could have been delivered in better “taste”. However, what confounded self was that since when did the underlying meaning and thoughts got relegated to the back seat? It’s a dangerous slope and here is why…

<<Analytical reasoning>>
Every other person apart from ourselves can be interpreted as a collection of attributes that we prioritize in our heads, which alters their proximity in our personal space. One of these attributes is “meaning”. If we prioritize meaning over the surface, transparency will follow.

Otherwise, at best one can hope for is selective familiarity!

<<slightly human reasoning>>
Nothing says it better than what was said by Martin Luther King Jr. …
“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

Either way, lessons learnt are:

• Silence really is golden!
• Next time, drink alone! (spare your friends…)
• A "light" brew after Bass, just does not cut it.
• Some lessons will have to be learnt the hard way!

So much food for thought and all this for $20.00 (including tip, and taxes …)

Hmmm….could have been worse.

-A

This pursuit.

My attention was recently directed to what Franz Kafka once penned (and incidentally also occupies a stable berth in my electronic mail signature) – “By believing passionately in something, we create it. The non-existent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired”. Quite frankly, despite the acute reservations and sentiments harbored by a significant chunk of humanity pertaining to its author, self on occasions (totaling more than one) has dissolved in the inherent rightness of these lines.

Recent events and the ensuing fallout from the same, has created a very riddling state of being for me and now, much to my own dismay, I find myself trying to justify the absolute in the said claim by Mr. Kafka (which was a very comfortable blanket that I had wrapped myself in). My primary stumbling in the aforementioned qualification is trying to figure out, whether the scattered desires in my possession are even perceptible or to be slightly generic – is every desire (complemented with the suitable degree of passionate pursuit) reachable ?

Digging deeper, it turns out – that all our pursuits are somehow knotted with some second being – which more often than not, presents a reasonably respectable degree of challenge in unthreading the same. Quite often than not, all the rationality and the supporting structure of “logic” and all that is unfounded by one moment of realization. In one instant we find ourselves pursuing a break in the thread – and after that, remains can only last for so long. Silly and terribly naïve (despite my best attempts at re-affirmation to the contrary) that I am, I find that I didn’t even drop the breadcrumbs along the way.

And this seems to me – is fairly applicable; whether what I have been wishing and wanting for my own existence or those who are my own building block. They say, hoping against hope is foolish and more often than not, a tragically fine symptom of immaturity and the associated dribbles. Nevertheless, one thing is perfectly apparent – if passionate pursuit is to be attempted, a certain instances of such symptoms should be present in the being. That seems to be the price for sign of life ! (if only a sign)

So has the thread snapped – possibly so. Do I feel wary – most definitely so. Am I changing my loyalty to what one particular Austrian said… not presently.

and I AM smiling !

-A